How to Write a TOEFL Essay Thesis Statement

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Examples of bad thesis statements

Before we look at examples of unacceptable thesis statements, let's have another look at our sample essay question:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Police officers should not carry guns.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Now take a look at an unacceptable thesis statement:

Police officers work hard.

This thesis statement doesn't give us an opinion. It also doesn't tell us what the essay is about. In fact, it's not related to the essay topic at all. Here's another one that's not so good:

Guns help to protect police officers.

Unacceptable. It may be true that "guns help to protect police officers," but we still don't know what the writer's opinion is. And here's a third example:

Police officers don't need guns.

Again, it may be true that "police officers don't need guns," but what is the writer's opinion? Should police officers carry guns?